Error (Pet Peeve) #5: Poor Understanding of APA Style Writing (continued)

The use of jargon (Section 3.09, p. 68).

Jargon is the use of technical language or familiar terms. Using jargon may assist you in conveying information efficiently to those familiar with your field; readers unfamiliar with your field and its jargon may find jargon impolite and confusing. Always take your audience into consideration when determining when to use jargon in your writing. Avoid jargon when unnecessary.

The example give in the APA Publication Manual is:

Incorrect: monetarily felt sacristy

Correct:  poverty

The use of wordiness (Section 3.08, p. 67).

Wordiness is the use of uneconomical and irrelevant words that can irritate the reader and can impede the reader's understanding.

Example:

Incorrect: There were several researchers who found similar results. 

Correct: Several researchers found similar results. 

Incorrect: The subjects that are considered most important by students are those that have been shown to be useful to them after graduation.

Correct: Students consider subjects useful after graduation to be the most important.

The use of redundancy (Section 3.08, p. 67).

Redundancy refers to the unnecessary repetition of words or ideas. 

Example:

Incorrect: It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose. (Note: Deliberate and on purpose mean the same thing).

Correct: It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie.

The APA manual provides the following examples (words in bold and underlined are redundant and should be omitted):

1. They were both alike
2. a total of 68 participants
3. instructions, which were exactly the same as those used
4. absolutely essential
5. has been previously found
6. small in size
7. one and the same
8. completely unanimous
9. period of time

The use of incorrect or undesirable attributions: Anthropomorphisms (Section 3.09, p. 69).

Anthropomorphisms are the attribution of human motivation, characteristics, or behavior to inanimate objects, animals, or natural phenomena. The use of anthropomorphisms results in lack of precision and clarity in writing and should be avoided.

Example:

Incorrect: The program was convinced of the communication policy. (Can a program adopt something?)

Correct: The staff of the program was convinced of the communication policy.

The use of incorrect or undesirable attributions: Third Person (Section 3.09, p. 69).

In APA, always write your paper in third person except for inappropriately attributing action in an effort to be objective. Writing 'the experimenter instructed the participants' when 'the experimenter' refers to yourself is ambiguous and may give the impression that you did not take part in your own study. Instead, use a personal pronoun: 'We instructed the participants.' 

Example:

Incorrect: The researchers concluded

Correct: We concluded

The incorrect use of numbers. (Section 4.31 - 4.38, pp. 111 - 114)

The general rule is to use numerals to express numbers 10 and above and words to express below 10. That means spell out numbers between zero and ten; use figures for all other numbers.There are some exceptions and special usages so read the section carefully.

Incorrect: 6 inches

Correct: six inches

Use figures for numbers less than 10 when  grouped with numbers above 10

Incorrect: three out of 15 students.

Correct: 3 out of 15 students.

Spell out numbers at the beginning of the sentence

Incorrect: 135 subjects participated in the study.

Correct: One hundred thirty-five subjects participated in the study.

The use of bias language. (Section 3.12 - 3.17, pp. 70 - 77)

"Gender refers to role not biological sex and is cultural. Avoid ambiguity in sex identity gender role by choosing, nouns, pronouns, and adjectives that specifically describe your participants" (p.73). Alternatives to the generic "he" including rephrasing are located at GUIDELINES FOR UNBIASED LANGUAGE and General Guidelines for Reducing Bias

Example:

Incorrect: Selfishness is a common problem for mankind.

Correct: Selfishness is a common problem for humankind.

Incorrect: Three hundred Orientals participated. 

Correct: Three hundred Asians participated.